//  If we’re cooked I just hope we’re seasoned well

An open frame dialogue

How do you operate effectively within a genuinely difficult situation without either lying to yourself about it or getting paralyzed by it? How do I get better at functioning while things feel hard and uncertain?

Spoiler alert: I do not have the answers, just some suggestions

I’ve been asking myself that a lot lately. Everything feels draining and exhausting. These days it’s much easier to spot the negative — for good reason, obviously. And it’s unavoidable. Constant reminders pile up, even though I don’t need them anymore.

We get it: patriarchy, socialization, and gender norms have left people more incompatible than ever, especially with algorithms flattening us into echo chambers. Tensions now make it feel like men really are from Mars and women from Venus.

We get it: the cost of living has strained everything — friendships, relationships, community. Hanging out comes with a price tag we often can’t afford, whether because of burnout, overwork, lack of housing for hosting, or simply fewer third spaces. And why the lack of third spaces? Because most of America isn’t walkable, let alone enjoyable to live in (can I just be honest?).

We get it: we’re stuck with a shit-show of an administration, amateur hour on repeat, with bleak outlooks across the board. You look at Gen Alpha and young Gen Z (generalizing, yes) and it’s clear from their behavior that they barely believe in a future.

So what now? Because solutions are not coming from the administration. Not this one, not the last one, not the next one. The issues are embedded in the fabric — some always have been, some worsened post-pandemic. Arbitrary constructs are outdated, but societal pressure, ignorance, and weak safety nets make it impossible for most people to live freely. Change feels excruciatingly slow compared to the rapid deceleration we’re experiencing.

And as someone hyper-aware of these issues for 5–7 years now, I’m tired. Tired of the discourse. Tired of the doomerism and pessimism. Most of all, tired of cowardice dressed up as wisdom or cynical self-righteousness online.

Every conversation circles back to late-stage capitalism, social media, or lack of walkable communities. I know it’s true, but I don’t like sitting in powerlessness. So: what do we do with this information?

TikTok normalized people spewing opinions without solutions, and we’ve forgotten that opinions aren’t facts. Unfortunately, the loudest voices dominate the cultural zeitgeist. Don’t get me wrong — some of it has been eye-opening, and we’re privileged to have knowledge our ancestors didn’t. But it’s frustrating to watch everyone regress to 1930s-style thinking (especially women, this is not the answer).

Honestly, the only hyperobject where I just go “yeah… yikes” is climate change. But again, what now? How do we manage in the meantime, when life doesn’t wait for anyone?

First: GET OFF THAT DAMN PHONE.

Social media affects you more than you think, even the strongest soldiers. If you find yourself hating everyone and feeling like “people are degenerates,” it’s time to log off. A lot of these platforms feed ignorance, rage, and separation. They exacerbate real-life issues and warp how we see each other, tricking us into thinking “if only they were more like me.” That’s a fool’s tale.

And yes, I hold space for the angst, a lot of it is grief. We’re mourning the adult life we thought we’d have, mourning the years Covid stole, mourning the fantasy of romantic love we were sold. (Not saying true love doesn’t exist, but that rigid gendered fantasy of hyper-romantic monogamy is a farce not a fact.) For women especially, the disconnect is becoming clearer. Mourning is necessary. But mourning can’t be the final destination.

So where do we go from here?

• Learn to combat algorithmic warfare. Think for yourself.

• Care less about internet strangers. It’s fun to indulge, but don’t let influencers and faceless profiles hold so much weight. Their “hot takes” are biased reflections of their own lives.

• Pause before reacting. Not every opinion needs to be shared. Journal it, tell a friend, whisper it to your pet — just keep it off the feed. Quality > quantity.

Then, figure out what specifically about the current landscape fuels your anxiety and experiment with what eases it. If climate change keeps you up at night, start small: learn home skills, get a solar radio, collect rainwater, find a community to practice resilience with. This personally eases my anxieties the most, and lately I’ve even learned how to grow food. There are countless resources offering affordable, actionable steps toward self-sustainability and small scale communities.

Another reminder: while things are objectively bad, good things happen every day. Scientific breakthroughs. Communities showing up for each other. It’s harder to find because negative news dominates engagement, but it’s out there. Curate your media diet because you really are what you consume.

And finally: seek out different views. Even opposing ones. It’s uncomfortable but clarifying. It keeps you from drowning in one perspective.

So yeah, I don’t really have the answers just suggestions. This is more for me, really — a response to how jaded I’ve been feeling. I can’t scroll social media without being told any joy I feel is pointless because we’re “biblically cooked.” And sure, things are objectively bad.  I refuse to gaslight anyone and I also refuse to succumb to misery, at least not without putting up a good fight.

I’m grateful to have a tribe to process this with, but I remain concerned for us collectively. Because while the world feels like it’s falling apart, we still have choices in how we operate within it.

Epilogue:

Yes, every generation faced challenges.

And the material privilege Gen Z has is a major reason why older generations don’t fathom it. They see phones, tech, endless content, and assume that cancels out the struggle, when in reality, that hyper-connectedness is the struggle. It warps mental health in ways they don’t fully understand, even though they can also clearly see that young people are unraveling under it.

Maybe admitting that would mean reckoning with their responsibility. Or worse — admitting they never really had the answers.